the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i think i have two assholes
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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