But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Randomize
