Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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