dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
