My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
