I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
