just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize