you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Say something about gay babies.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
