You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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