So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
