oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
