I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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