Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
And then my night got REAL pukey
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
