Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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