I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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