girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
