How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
