Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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