I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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