if you like me you must not know who I am
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
