I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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