I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
