He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
