I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
