Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize