I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
