an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
