so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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