Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
