As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
