It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
