Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
