dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I've blown a few things in my day
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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