I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
