I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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