You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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