woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Randomize
