Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I understand Curling. That high.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
how drunk are you?
Several
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
