Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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