let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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