I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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