I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
