she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
