he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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