Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
