they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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