operation harelip BJ is a go
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
