Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I'm too high and old for this...
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
