Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Randomize
