I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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