OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
