there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
