i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
