You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
