fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize