Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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