Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize