THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
