Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
