the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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