I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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