kristin has been a bad kristin
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
