doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
