Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize