College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
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