Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
