please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
