Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
