I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize