I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
