i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
