I'm eating all of the evidence.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
i think i just lost a toe
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
