You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
