And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
